Stop Bullying

 

STOP BULLYING

Hellow everyone, come back with my blog. I hope the readers never get bored with my blog. This time I will explain about Bullying. Come on, let’s see, I hope you are happy.

🌻 DEFINITION OF BULLYING 🌻

Bullying is an action or behavior that is done by hurting physically, verbally or emotionally / psychologically by a person or group who feels stronger against a victim who is weaker physically or mentally repeatedly without any resistance with the aim of making the victim suffer.

The term bullying comes from English, namely "bull" which means bull. Etymologically the word "bully" means a bully, a person who annoys the weak. Bullying in Indonesian is called "mengakat" which means disturbing, harassing, and hindering other people. Bullying behavior involves unbalanced strength and power, so that the victim is in a state of being unable to defend themselves effectively against the negative actions they receive. 

Bullying has long-term and short-term effects on victims of bullying. The short-term effects of bullying are depression due to bullying, decreased interest in doing school assignments given by the teacher, and decreased interest in participating in school activities. Meanwhile, the long-term consequences of this oppression such as having difficulty in establishing good relationships with the opposite sex, always having anxiety about getting unpleasant treatment from their peers

Here are some definitions and definitions of bullying from several book sources:

• According to Olweus (2005), bullying is an act or deliberate aggressive behavior, which is carried out by a group of people or someone repeatedly and from time to time against a victim who cannot defend himself easily or as an abuse of power / strength systematic. 
• According to Wicaksana (2008), bullying is long-term physical and psychological violence committed by a person or group against someone who is unable to defend himself in a situation where there is a desire to hurt or frighten that person or make him / her depressed. 
• According to Black and Jackson (2007), bullying is a proactive type of aggressive behavior in which there is an intentional aspect of dominating, hurting, or eliminating, an imbalance of strength both physically, age, cognitive abilities, skills, and social status, and is done in an repeated by one or more children against other children. 
• According to Sejiwa (2008), bullying is a situation where there is abuse of physical and mental strength / power by a person / group, and in this situation the victim is unable to defend or defend himself. 
• According to Rigby (1994), bullying is a desire to hurt that is shown into direct action by a person or group that is stronger, irresponsible, usually repeated, and is done happily with the aim of making the victim suffer.

💎 BULLYING ELEMENTS 💎

According to Coloroso (2006), there are four elements in bullying behavior to someone, namely as follows:

1. Power imbalance. Bullies can be people who are older, bigger, stronger, more verbally proficient, higher in social status, of a different race, or not of the same gender. Large groups of children who bully can create an imbalance. 

2. Intention to injure. Bullying means causing emotional pain and / or physical injury, requires action to be able to hurt, and creates joy in the perpetrator's heart when witnessing the injury. 

3. The threat of further aggression. Both the perpetrator and the victim know that bullying can and is likely to happen again. Bullying is not meant to be a one-time event. 

4. Terror. Bullying is systematic violence used to intimidate and maintain dominance. Terror that stabs right in the heart of the victim is not only a way to achieve the goal of bullying, terror is the goal of bullying.

🌹 TYPES AND FORMS OF BULLYING 🌹

According to Coloroso (2006), bullying behavior can be grouped into four forms, namely:

🌾a. Verbal bullying 

Bullying in the form of verbal is the most frequent and easy to do bullying. This bullying is usually the beginning of other bullying behavior and can be the first step towards further violence. Examples of verbal bullying include: nicknames, insults, slander, cruel criticism, insults, statements of sexual harassment, terror, intimidating letters, false accusations, vicious and false rumors, gossip etc.

🌾b. Physical bullying 

Bullying is most visible and easy to identify, but the incidence of physical bullying is not as much as bullying in other forms. Teens who regularly engage in physical bullying are often the most problematic and tend to turn to further criminal acts. Examples of physical bullying are: beating, kicking, slapping, choking, biting, scratching, spitting on, and destroying and destroying belongings of an oppressed child, and others.

🌾c. Bullying is relational 

Relational bullying is carried out by severing one's social relations with the aim of systematically weakening the victim's self-esteem through neglect, exclusion or avoidance. Bullying in this form is most difficult to detect from the outside. Examples of relational bullying are hidden behaviors or attitudes such as aggressive gaze, eye glances, sighs, sneers, mocking laughter and mocking body language.

🌾d. Electronic bullying 

Electronic bullying is a form of bullying behavior carried out by perpetrators through electronic means such as computers, cellphones, internet, websites, chat rooms, e-mails, SMS and so on. Usually intended to terrorize victims by using writing, animation, pictures and video recordings or films that are intimidating, hurtful or cornering.

📌 CHARACTERISTIC OF BULLYING PERPETRATORS 📌

🍒1. Always want power

People who have a tendency to power, sometimes feel themselves superior to others. True, right ? This type of person often orders his friends to do various things. For example, to just pick up books, do school work, and even buy food. In fact, these things can be done alone. People who always want to be in power seem to want to always have an important role in their environment. Now, is there one of you like this?

🍒2. Be selfish 

Everyone really needs to be selfish. However, if it is done excessively and continuously it is also a danger, you know . If you are too selfish, this could be a major factor that triggers bullying . The reason is, you will care too much about your personal desires and pleasures. Selfish people also easily ignore other people's feelings. This habit makes you become a person who cannot sympathize and empathize with others. If given suggestions or criticism, even always give a negative response.

🍒3. Irritable 

Another characteristic that you are bullying is easily angry with others. This action can be caused by many things. For example, always dissatisfied with the surroundings or lack of attention. When someone has this trait, they tend to be aggressive, feel insecure, and anxious. Finally, his anger was vented by committing mischief or actually scolding other people.

🍒4. Don't feel guilty

After you got angry or wronged a friend, have you ever felt guilty? If the answer is no, it could be that you have one of the traits of the bully . The habit of people who have this characteristic is often easy to make fun of, ridicule, and humiliate others without feeling guilty. If it continues, it can be very dangerous, you know ! Even from the results of your actions, it can make the victim become vindictive, and also bully others.

🍒5. Lacking empathy and compassion 

The bullies will experience a crisis of empathy and compassion for the situation around them. They could not imagine his position as a victim. Moreover, they do not care when they see the condition of the victim they have intimidated. Therefore, it is very important for you to instill a sense of empathy. Try from now on, multiply following humanitarian activities that can foster your sense of empathy for others!

🌞CHARACTERISTICS OF CHILDREN BECOMING VICTIMS OF BULLYING 🌞

The problem is, not all children will be wholeheartedly honest when asked. However, if children are accustomed to being open since childhood, the method above can work. If children are reluctant to answer, indications of bullying can be seen from the following characteristics:

🌳Lazy children go to school

Always excited, he suddenly broke down at school. If there are no symptoms that he is sick, ask the child what happened to make him reluctant to go to school. If the child does not answer satisfactorily, communicate with the teacher to find out what happened at school so that the child becomes discouraged.

🌳His learning achievement decreased

If the child looks lackluster, has difficulty concentrating until his performance drops dramatically, you may be suspicious. Of course, the cause is not bullying. But at least you've tried to figure it out and then find a way to solve the problem.

🌳Children like to be alone

Bullying victims tend to shut down. He prefers to be alone, shy away from his own friends and family members. If your child is often caught alone in the room and cries, he or she may be the victim of bullying.

🌳More emotional 

Bullying victim children are more sensitive. He gets angry easily.

🌳His habits changed

He is no longer cheerful. He is very introverted. He doesn't want to tell about activities at school. She also started hiding things from her parents. He's getting dishonest. Maybe he even dared to steal his parents' money.

🌳The child has insomnia

He has trouble sleeping. Even if he finally fell asleep, he would easily wake up because of frequent nightmares.

🌳Experiencing physical injuries

Children have injuries, but usually will say strange reasons to cover up the truth. He didn't want to admit that he was being bullied because he was embarrassed and didn't want to look weak. Therefore he chose to lie.

🍀 CAUSES OF BULLYING FROM THE VICTIM'S SIDE 🍀

The cause of bullying can come from the factor of the victim or the perpetrator. If you look at the victim's point of view, here are some factors that might cause children to become victims:

🍂🍂Physical appearance

The first most common cause of bullying is physical appearance. When a child has a physical appearance that is considered different from other children in general, bullies can make it a material to bully the child. Different physical appearances can include being overweight or underweight, wearing glasses, wearing braces, wearing clothes that are considered uncool as other children. 

🍂🍂Race Racial differences also often cause a child to be bullied .

This generally occurs when a child of a different race enters a neighborhood and is considered a minority. Several surveys and studies have also shown that bullying due to different races is quite common.

🍂🍂Sexual orientation

A person's sexual orientation is different and generally a child just realizes that a different sexual orientation is entering adolescence. Even in some countries that are familiar with LGBT issues, someone who identifies as lesbian, gay, and transgender often gets bully behavior . This is what makes a person tend to hide their sexual orientation. 

🍂🍂Look weak

Another cause of bullying is when a child is perceived as weaker and appears not to be resisting. As previously mentioned, bullying involves an imbalance of power between the perpetrator and the victim. The perpetrator certainly feels that he is the stronger party and can dominate the weaker victim.

🍂🍂Looks not easy to get along with

Apart from being weak, looking not easy to get along with and having few friends are also one of the causes of being a victim of bullying. Individuals who appear unfriendly and have few friends may also appear weaker and make the bully think they can dominate them.

A group of bully also has the potential to bully a  group that is considered weaker than their group. Although the above characteristics can be the cause of bullying, of course not all children with these characteristics become victims of bullying. These conditions are only a few general features.

 

🌷CAUSES OF BULLYING FROM THE PERPETRATOR'S SIDE 🌷

As previously mentioned, children who have one of the criteria that can trigger bullying are not always victims. This is also due to the fact that there are factors that cause bullying  which can also come from the perpetrator's side. Here are some of the causes of bullying  from the perpetrator's side:

1.    Having personal problems

One of the triggers for someone to bully is because they have personal problems that make them helpless in their own lives. In children, causes such as excessive fighting at home, parental divorce, or a family member who is addicted to drugs and alcohol can trigger this. Whereas in adults, problems with partners can also be one of the triggers for feelings of helplessness. Bullying, both verbal and physical, aims to show the individual has strength. So that the feeling of helplessness can be covered up.

2.    Have been a victim of bullying

Several cases show that the perpetrator is actually a victim. For example, a child who feels bullied by his siblings at home, then the child responds by bullying his friends at school who he thinks are weaker than himself. Another example is people who are distressed by bullying in real life and use the internet and cyberspace to show that they also have power by attacking others.

3.    The victim's jealousy

The next cause of bullying is due to the perpetrator's jealousy towards the victim. This jealousy can arise because the victim has things that are actually as special as the perpetrator. The perpetrator intimidates the victim so that the victim will not stand out more than himself. Apart from not wanting other people to stand out, someone may also bully  to cover up their identity. For example, a smart kid who doesn't want to be called a 'bookworm', so he calls his smart friend a bookworm first. 

4.    Lack of understanding

Lack of understanding and empathy can also lead to bullying behavior. When a child sees other children as different in terms of race, religion, and sexual orientation, due to a lack of understanding, they assume that these differences are wrong. They also thought it was right to target these different children. 

5.    Seek attention

Sometimes the perpetrator does not realize that what he is doing is considered bullying, because what he is actually doing is seeking attention. This type is the easiest to overcome. The trick is to give it positive attention before the offender seeks internal attention in a negative way. 

6.    Difficulty controlling emotions

Children who have difficulty regulating emotions can be potential offenders. When someone feels angry and frustrated, it is possible to hurt and intimidate others. If it is difficult to control emotions, then even a small problem can provoke a person and exaggerate his emotions.

7.    Come from a dysfunctional family

Not all children from dysfunctional families will be bullies, but this often happens. Most of the perpetrators are children who feel a lack of love and openness in their families. They may also often see their parents being aggressive towards those around them.

8.    Feel that bullying is beneficial

Performers bully will accidentally be able to continue his action because he felt his actions favorable. This can happen to children who get money or food by forcibly asking their friends. Another example is when the perpetrator feels the popularity and attention of each person for him is increasing thanks to the action. 

9.    Lack of empathy

The next cause is a lack of empathy. When seeing the victim, the perpetrator does not feel empathy for what the victim feels, some may actually feel happy when seeing others feel in pain. The more you get the reaction you want, the more  happy the bully will be with the action.

🌼 IMPACT OF BULLYING 🌼

The effects of bullying can threaten every party involved, both children who are bullied, children who are bullied, children who witness bullying, even schools with the issue of bullying as a whole. Bullying can have a negative impact on the physical and mental health of children. In severe cases, bullying can trigger a fatal action, such as suicide.

🌺🌺 Negative Impact

Children who are victims of bullying are more at risk of experiencing various health problems, both physically and mentally. As for the problems that children who are victims of bullying are more likely to suffer, include:

• The emergence of various mental problems such as depression, anxiety and sleep problems, these problems may carry over into adulthood.
• Physical health complaints, such as headaches, stomachaches and muscle tension.
• Feelings of insecurity in the school environment.
• Decreased enthusiasm for learning and academic achievement.
• In rare enough cases, child victims of bullying may show a violent nature.

 

🍋🍋 Positive Impact

Besides its negative effects, bullying can also encourage the emergence of various positive developments for children who are victims of bullying. Children who are victims of bullying are more likely to:

• Stronger and stronger in facing a problem.
• Motivated to show their potential so they are no longer humiliated.
• Driven to introspect

🍅 HOW TO PREVENT AND MANAGE BULLYING ACTIONS 🍅

Prevention and treatment of victims of bullying

🌈 Prevention :

Prevention from becoming a victim of bullying can be done in various ways, as follows:

1. Do not carry expensive items or excessive money. Seizing, destroying, or holding the victim's belongings are actions that are usually carried out by the bully. Therefore, as much as possible do not give them the opportunity by bringing expensive items or excessive money to school. If you have to, hide it in a safe place, leave it with a trusted teacher or friend, or at least avoid putting the item or money in an open place that could attract the bully's attention .

2. Don't be alone. Perpetrators of bullying saw a solitary child as a potential prey. Therefore, don't be alone in the classroom, in the school hallway, or in other quiet places. If possible, be in a place where the teacher or other adult can see you. It would be even better if you were with friends, or trying to make friends with other loner children who may have also been victims. You may be helpless against bullies alone, but you will be safer with others.

3.  Don't mess with the bully. If you know that there are certain children who don't like you, or are widely known to be bullies , as much as possible avoid being around them or in the same area as them. This includes areas outside of school, such as the roads you normally use when commuting to or from school or in a pick-up vehicle. If forced, make sure there are adults (parents, teachers, employees) who can intervene with bullying or your friends.

4. What if one day you are still caught in a bullying situation? The key is to appear confident. Don't present yourself as weak or frightened, such as standing in an upright posture, looking down when spoken to or responding nervously. Stay calm, state your objections firmly, then leave them.

Don't let your emotions catch up and get back at them for their actions unless you feel you have enough skills to do so; if not (for example because the perpetrators carry weapons or the number of perpetrators is far greater), you will only make the situation worse. Only fight as a last resort to defend yourself if it's not possible to get away from it.

5.   Finally, bullying will only stop forever if you dare to report to a parent, teacher, or other adult you trust. You are not a coward at all; It takes much more courage to act and try to change the wrong condition the best you can than to just sit there and hope that all the suffering you are feeling will go away by itself.

📌Handling:

1.Try to be clear about what happened to the victim of bullying. Emphasize that the incident was not his fault.

2. Help the victim cope with any discomfort, explaining what happened and why it happened. Never blame the victim for bullying.

3. Ask a third party (teacher or professional) to help return the victim to normal conditions, if necessary and to deal with the perpetrator.

4. For people who are close to the victim (such as parents), it is important to observe the behavior and emotions of the victim, even when the bullying that she has experienced has long since passed (remember that victims usually hold a grudge and are potential to become the perpetrator in the future). They must work closely with the school (teachers) to help and observe any emotional or physical changes in their children. Be aware of the different expressions of aggression shown by children at home and at school (the presence or absence of parents / teachers / caregivers).

5. For parents, build closeness with children's friends. Pay attention to their stories about children. Be aware of changes or unusual behavior.

🌄PREVENTION AND HANDLING OF BULLYING PERPETRATORS 🌄

📝Prevention:

The role of parents in preventing a child from becoming bullies is very large. Here are tips so that children do not become bullies :

1.  Children can become bullies, among others, if they experience low self-esteem. Therefore, strive to educate children in an atmosphere full of love that educates children to have pride in themselves. Real affection also makes children feel safe and tends to be more willing to cooperate with parents / teachers. But be careful not to spoil the child which has an impact on the child's side.

2.  Be alert if your child shows excessive aggressiveness, especially to those who are weaker (siblings, caregivers, playmates who are smaller or shorter) or even animals, plants and toys.

3. If your child has been a victim of bullying, to prevent him from becoming a bully in the future, ask for expert help so that the problem is resolved properly and there is no grudge in the future. Observe the child's behavior and emotional state from time to time, even when the bullying has long since passed.

4.  Always try to be open and have discussions with children about various things. Always be ready to give positive comments and avoid judging children. However, don't let your children "harm" them by spoiling them excessively.

🎀Handling:

1. Immediately ask the perpetrator to talk about what he was doing. Explain that his actions are detrimental to both himself and others. Get help from the experts so that the problem is handled properly and resolved completely.

2.  Find out why the perpetrator did this. Cause determines treatment. Children who become perpetrators because of inferiority complex will certainly be handled differently from perpetrators because of resentment because they have been victims. Likewise, if the perpetrator is caused by his different aggressiveness.

3.  Position yourself to help the offender and not judge the offender.

To Better Understand, Readers Can Watch The Following Video

My Video

BULLYING CASES AND THEIR EXPLANATIONS

The Story Of The Cracker Seller's Child Being A Victim Of Bullying

In this material I take a case of bullying which tells of a child who sells crackers being a victim of bullying. This story tells of a student at a public elementary school in the Wirosari sub-district, Central Java, who experienced severe depression after being suspected of being the victim of bullying by some of his classmates.

Ironically, this child has been receiving both verbal and physical bullying in the past two years. His family said that they had paid a lot of money for psychological therapy treatment, especially the condition of an underprivileged family.

This bullying case started with breaking wall clocks. At that time, during the empty class hours the child was playing football in the classroom with his friends. However, at that time the ball that was kicked hit the classroom wall clock and fell on the floor, since then the child has always been bullied. Even having been held captive in class by her friends, her hair was pulled, spat on, splashed with water and other violence.

From that moment on, the child's personality changed drastically, he was no longer eager to befall ilmi, was not diligent in reciting the Koran or even wanted to go to school anymore.

So, in my opinion, this case of bullying should be given a solution, namely:

💙Better efforts to rise from yourself

💙Dare to report to parents or teachers

💙Don't keep your feelings to yourself

💙Teachers should help children who are being bullied to defend 

💙Avoid blaming, criticizing or scolding yourself

This Video Is About The Story Of A Cracker Seller's Child Being A Victim Of Bullying

So many explanation from me regarding the stop bullying material. Thank you for everthing, hopefully useful. Thank you so much 💝💝😊😊